Mama Needs More

008: Unlock Your Inner Calm with 10 Self-Care Tips for Busy Moms

Kylie van Gelder Season 1 Episode 8

If you sometimes struggle to squeeze in the ever-so-needed self-care, this episode's got you covered! I’ve packed it with 10 (ok 11/12 depending on how you count them) self-care tips for busy moms. Each one is 5 minutes or less! As busy moms, taking care of ourselves can sometimes feel like an illusion.

Bouncing from one thing to the next, self-care ends up last on your priority list, and you feel guilty for not doing it. This is the exact opposite of self-care, Mama. Well, not anymore! After you listen to this episode, you’ll be equipped with quick and easy-to-do tools to start putting you back on top of your list.

Headphones are recommended if little ones are around.

Key Topics

  • What prioritizing you teaches your kids. (04:23)
  • The list of self-care tips for busy moms. (04:40)
  • Summarizing what self-care is in a nutshell (15:52)

Episode Links & Contact Info
I'd love a rating or review if this show has been helpful. After you've finished rating or typing away, you can DM me on Instagram. You'll receive a personal message from yours truly.

Do you want to know more about what I do?
Check out my website www.kylievangelder.com for more information.

Please remember to share this show with other mamas who need more! 

[0:00:33]
Hello. Thank you so much for being here. Thank you for clicking play. I am so excited for today. I just want to start off by saying I recorded one round of this episode I got right to the end. Now, I don't stare at my screen whenever I'm recording, so I didn't actually see that my microphone was off. I have to actually flick a little switch on it and I didn't see that it was off. And when I finished recording, the whole time I had clicked record, there was just one long straight line and I thought to myself, you have got to be kidding me.

[0:01:13]
I am recording between a play date and my husband taking the kids to the park. And I squeeze this in and that's something that we do as busy moms, right when we want to do something for ourselves, we just squeeze the time in. And here I was thinking, wow, bonus. I got this done with no background noise, no kids here. And then I saw that it wasn't actually recorded. And it's kind of funny because this podcast today is about doing something for busy moms as busy moms, self-care for busy moms. And I thought, this goes to show you how our lives are. We have to squeeze everything in, and I think that it is the exact same when it comes to self-care.

[0:01:54]
We feel like it's something we have to squeeze in because we bounce from one thing to the next. And I'm not sure about you, but when it comes to self-care, for me, for busy moms, which I think all moms are, self-care has become something I want to toss something at. I don't know if it were physically possible to toss something at the word, like how much you see self-care all around and how important it is.

[0:02:16]
It's just not always possible. Most mums are busy bouncing from one thing to the next and squeezing time in doesn't always work. Not everyone has an extra hour in a day and not everyone wants to wake up at 05:00 a.m.. You probably don't either if you're not a morning person. I am not a morning person. I mean, I am happy to find my kitchen in the morning to make a cup of tea. That, for me, is already an achievement and a form of self-care.

[0:02:41]
Probably you feel the same way. If you're not a morning person, it's really hard to squeeze it in. You may not even want to get up before your kids. I try not to get up before mine. And yeah, so self-care becomes this frustrating thing that we are trying to fit into our day, and then it's like a tick on the to-do list, for example. And you don't want to have to do that with self-care because then it kind of defeats the purpose if you feel pressured into having to do something for yourself.

[0:03:08]
But if you don't, if you don't refill your tank, eventually you will run out of energy. And then what happens? You get snippy with the kids. You get snippy with yourself for being snippy with the kids, and then you feel guilty about it as well. And then there's just this whole thing weighing down on you of negative energy. And self-care is actually supposed to bring something back to you to make you feel good about yourself, to give yourself some time and to put you back into the present moment instead of ping-ponging all over the place, as we tend to do, as busy moms.  As a mom of two little ones having extra time, yeah, it could be an illusion.

[0:03:43]
And this is why I often opt for some quick and easy me-time moments. And that's what this show is about today, giving you ten self-care tips for busy moms. All of these are under five minutes or five minutes or less. Let me say that they're all five minutes or less. And because I've been implementing these more often lately, I've seen a significant shift in my days. There's like a sense of calm amongst the chaos. Okay, sure, not all the time, but still, it's because I'm lowering my frustra…, my snippy moments, and I think to myself, wow, who knew taking care of yourself could be this easy? Because they are so short, it's time to show yourself how important you are. When you do that, when you prioritize yourself, you also teach your kids that you are a priority.

[0:04:32]
And then you also teach your kids that later on, when they have kids of their own, they are also allowed to be a priority within their household. So I think it's a win-win in the end. The first one on the list is to stop and breathe. This is a couple of minutes. This is way less than five minutes. I mean, each set of breaths, I guess, combined is roughly 15, let's say 20 seconds. You take a few deep breaths in, so you take one big, deep breath in, which can be anywhere between five and 7 seconds, you want to breathe in as much as you can.

[0:05:04]
You want to hold it for roughly four to 5 seconds. And then you want to let everything out of your lungs, absolutely everything, for seven to 8 seconds and then repeat breathe in, hold, breathe out. You want the out-breath to be longer. That is a very important thing in helping to bring you down, to release everything. Not only will you feel calmer, but you'll also feel more connected to yourself simply by consciously breathing. We don't think about our breathing every day. And consciously breathing can then shift your entire day to help build this amazing routine. You can set reminders on your phone or you can link it to an already existing routine. Like, for example, when you're cutting up vegetables for dinner.

[0:05:48]
Then you can say, okay, I'm just going to stop for two minutes and breathe a few times. Repeat as often as you want throughout the day. Reap the benefits of this mini self-care. Moment. Number two is to dance to your favourite song. This is two and a half to four minutes, depending on how long your song is dancing. It not only energizes you, but it also puts you fully in the moment. This is a massive checkmark on the self-care box, okay?

[0:06:16]
You don't have to go and whip out the splits on your first go. Just move to the music, shake off some of the stress of the day and allow yourself to be fully immersed in the song. Your entire state will change. You'll feel phenomenal, motivated, and maybe even in the mood for a second song. You can ask your kids to join in. Mine love it when I go nuts to some music. And also if everyone's feeling a little edgy that day, this is the perfect thing to do. Throw on some music and just dance. Just move.

[0:06:44]
Everyone's state will change. Number three on the list is not as fun as dancing and not as easy as just breathing in and out. This is something that you do need to set a timer for for five minutes. Because there are times in your day when you're so busy you can't even remember what you did earlier in the day. So this one is to write down everything that you have achieved that day. Often there's a pull in us to get more done so we can relax later. And the list never actually ends. And I don't know about you, but for me, sometimes by noon I forget what I did at 09:00 in the morning. So I'll do this self-care thing. I'll sit down actually at lunchtime and I will try to remember what I have already achieved in just the few short hours I've been up. You can also do it at the end of the day, but it's amazing when you acknowledge some of your small victories. Even if one of those victories was taking a few deep breaths, right? Stopping to consciously take deep breaths, that is a massive victory actually.

[0:07:41]
And that should be on your list. Set a timer, write down what you've achieved in your day and soak up this list. See how amazing you are. See how much you've done. The more you do that, the more your brain will be like, wow, I am awesome. Look how much I do. The more you soak it up. Your brain does whatever you tell it to. And you can also write down that you've done some self-care things because this is a self-care thing.

[0:08:05]
And then your brain will eventually be like, wow, I do take care of myself. Because you keep telling it that you do in these five short minutes, number four is to sit down for five minutes. How often do you say to yourself, man, I would love to sit down for five minutes? It happens to me all the time. There are days when I have spent more time standing in my kitchen than anything else. So drop what you're doing and go sit in the comfiest chair in your house and relish in those five minutes.

[0:08:36]
You can also let everyone in your house know that you're taking these five minutes for yourself. It might take some getting used to, but they will eventually learn that these five minutes are yours. You can also take five minutes in your car. For example, when I grow grocery shopping by myself, which by the way, is already a form of self-care, sometimes I sit for a few minutes before getting out of my car because, yeah, I just soak up being alone and not having a tiny human shout at me.

[0:09:03]
It's heavenly. You deserve a break. So if you do it in your own house, let everyone in your house know that you're taking those five minutes off. Number five on the list is to meditate while you're in your comfy chair or in your car. Pop your headphones in for a five minute meditation. Use your breath as your anchor and your mind when it wanders and it will. That's the thing with meditation. That's the thing with our mind.

[0:09:27]
Our mind does wander, but just all you need to do is kindly and gently return to your breath when you notice, even if it's four minutes into your meditation that you've missed because your mind has wandered and for that last minute you are thinking about your breath, then that's what it is. It's practicing. It's not a perfection, it's a practice. So this is an easy five minutes that you can do for yourself and tick the box on the self-care list.

[0:09:54]
Number six, I'm going to say, is a difficult one. For me, it's to stop after one glass of wine. Laughing now, I enjoy red wine. I also enjoy the occasional beer. But wine, I like to pair with food. And when you're having in multiple courses, it's really difficult to stick to just one glass. So, okay, let's say you stop after two. This is a split-second decision, one to 2 seconds, right? The debate might go on in your head for a little bit. Like, maybe I'll just have one more but don't one, maybe two glasses.

[0:10:25]
You will thank yourself in the morning. Stopping at two glasses of wine is a form of self-care. And believe me, yeah, it is hard. But when you wake up the next day, you will be happy if you go as far as two drinks. The thing is, it's easy to slip into a third and fourth and the list can go on and on. So be kind to your body. Be kind to your mind. Think about the goals you want to achieve and where you want to go and if alcohol is really the thing that is going to help you get there. And okay, I'm not saying now and then you can't go nuts, but in general, right? Just respect your body and your mind.

[0:11:01]
Number seven is to give yourself a five-minute massage. Sure, you can ask a loved one to rub your shoulders or your feet, but you can also do this yourself. Find the pain that's been aching all day, close your eyes and massage the bugger. If you have a massage function on your shower head, you can use this too. And actually, this just came to me now. Maybe this is the reason why I didn't actually record properly the first time. You can also just take an extra minute in your shower to relax.

[0:11:27]
Maybe I have eleven on my list today. Now instead of ten, I'm going to add this one. You can take an extra minute in your shower to relax. Let the warm rainwater just massage your entire body like a full-body massage. Close your eyes and just relax. If you don't have that massage function, or if you do, you can still do this, right? Just relax. That is a form of self-care, taking that one extra minute in your shower.

[0:11:51]
Show yourself that you're important too. This is self-care 101. So rub your poor swollen feet or take that extra minute in the shower. Number eight is to read one page of your favourite book. This is one to two minutes depending on the type of reader that you are. Fast or slow in the type of book that you're reading, but roughly one to two minutes to read a page. When was the last time you read a book? We mostly read blogs. Listen to podcasts, of course. Never stop listening to podcasts.

[0:12:20]
We look at social media. We look at emails. These tend to be how our day is consumed when it comes to reading and getting more information into us. Holding a good old-fashioned book in your hands and feeling the pages can really bring you into the moment, which is what self-care is about as well. It can also allow you to get absorbed in something that's just for you without screen time. If you have a book you've been wanting to read, pick it up. Read one to two pages. It doesn't take long. And who knows, maybe you'll decide to stick around for a chapter. You might do this when you're sitting for your comfy five minutes in your chair.

[0:12:55]
Either way you'll feel better because you've done something for yourself. Number nine is to write down three to five things that you're grateful for. This is like two, maybe three minutes, possibly less, if you already know, if you don't need time to think and you already know what you're thankful for. Gratitude and self-care are like two p's in a pod. You can't have one without the other. After you've taken care of yourself, you are automatically thankful. Like, oh my God, that was so wonderful taking that extra minute in the shower, right?

[0:13:23]
You're instantly thankful. Writing down a couple of things will also add to this feel-good feeling. Keep them small and quick. There's no need for details here. I am grateful for that extra minute in the shower. I am grateful for morning snuggles with my kids. I am grateful I found my kitchen in the morning to enjoy a cup of tea. Whatever resonates with you. I'm grateful for the colour of my eyes or for the thickness of my hair. I have thin hair, by the way, so that doesn't apply to me. But in any case, find something that really that you actually feel resonates or connects with you. If you're not someone to say like, oh, I'm grateful for the air I breathe every day. If that doesn't actually make you feel warm and fuzzy, then don't write it down. Write down what actually connects with you.

[0:14:05]
Number ten on the list. Or I guess number eleven if you include that 1 minute in the shower is to do some stretches. Do five minutes of stretches or even less. Five minutes or less. Set a timer if you want to, but how often do you stretch your body? I mean, there's a lot going on about doing yoga and how important it is for you, sure. But maybe you don't have the 15 to 45 minutes it takes to do a yoga practice.

[0:14:31]
So do five minutes of stretches. Move your ankles around in circles, grab your elbows above your head or whatever and stretch your triceps. Bend your knee back and stretch, your quadricep, whatever it is. Move your legs from side to side. Do 1 minute of jumping jack. Something just to move and stretch your body out. How amazing you will feel afterwards. I've been doing this. I do my stretches.

[0:14:54]
I combine it with an already existing habit. Makes it so much easier to pick it up. I do my stretches first thing in the morning when I get out of bed and right after I've brushed my teeth in the evening so that I yeah. Then I link it to two other habits that I have. Getting out of bed is a good habit to have and now I can actually stretch all the way down to my floor with my legs straight and touch my hands flat on the floor.

[0:15:19]
And that's just from doing these small little stretches. I started with once a day, and for the past, I'd say two months I've been doing it twice a day and I'm like, oh my God, look how flexible I am. It's amazing what it can do. These short little spurts and you feel so good after like really, really good. And that is self-care. Anything to do with increasing your health, chopping up some vegetables and eating or eating half a cucumber, for example. That's a great way. Drinking more water. Any of those things can be number ten or eleven on the list.

[0:15:50]
Anything to make you feel like you are taking care of yourself and doing more for yourself. That is a form of self-care. Self-care does not have to be complicated or overwhelming. Actually, if you feel this way about self-care, you're doing the exact opposite. So make it easy for yourself, think less, and do simple things that bring you joy. I would love to hear from you. If any of these apply to you, if you have already been doing some of them, what ones you like, try them out. See if try one a day or something and see which ones maybe connect most with you.

[0:16:23]
Or if you have some tips, send me a DM on Instagram or post something on Instagram easy Self-care Tips for Moms and tag me in it. I'd love to hear from you. I'd love to add to this list because the more that we can share and give tips to each other, the more we can support and help each other as moms. And now I'd like to ask something from you. If you've been listening to my shows, or maybe you're listening to this as the first show you're listening to, I would love a review. If you find that this has been helping you, that these shows are supportive to you, that they're helping you get more from your life, they're helping you see that you can actually, for example, this specific show, get some self-care in as a busy mom or you're learning things from the show. I would really love and appreciate a review.

[0:17:05]
You can also leave a star rating. I mean, five stars won't hurt, of course. I know you can do that on Apple podcasts and on Spotify. And what that does with the ratings too, is it lets other moms who are in need of more, it lets them know that this show is helping you. It lets them get easier access to it when the show is bumped up and things like that whenever people are looking for specific topics.

[0:17:28]
And it lets them know that I'm here. So I would really appreciate you doing that. After you do it, you can also DM me to let me know you can DM me on Instagram and then you'll get a personal message from me thanking you for taking time out of your busy day to do that. Remember, we are in this together. Thank you so much for being here. And have a wonderful day!