[0:00:41]
Hello and welcome to today's show. It is going to be a short and sweet one because honestly, I don't think there's a need to have it any longer. This the topic which is about lessons that repeat themselves in our lives. It's really quite simple actually. So I am just going to explain what I think the lessons are there for and that they're not only there just to teach you in that particular lesson. And also I'm going to give you some suggestions for how you can move forward.

[0:01:16]
Because while the show may be short today, it is actually the work that needs to be done. That's the long process. That's the one where you need to take time to dig into why these things are happening. And so I will provide you with some strategies to do that. And then you need to go off and do the work because in personal development it is our responsibility, our personal responsibility to work on ourselves. And yes, it's hard and yes, we have those crying moments and yes, we have those amazing insights and AHA moments and all of that wonderful stuff, but only from doing the work.

[0:01:54]
And I'll tell you, some days it frigging sucks. I'm like, really? Why did I get on this personal development path in the first place? But then I look at how far I've come and how I've changed and how I've grown and how I'm no longer bitter and pointing the finger and blaming everyone else for what is going on in my life and I'm taking responsibility for it. And one of those things that's helped me do that is learning what I'm going to tell you today.

[0:02:15]
And that is about these repeated lessons. If I look at my life, and I'm sure when you look at yours, you see these things that constantly repeat themselves. Maybe it's in a relationship, maybe you keep seeing the same type of partner over and over again. Maybe it's in a friendship that you keep attracting the same type of unsupportive friends. Or maybe it's in your job, for example. And every company you go to you say to yourself, I'm going to start new and I'm going to strive for something new. And then you get there and you don't, and you see that pattern repeating itself.

[0:02:51]
Of course, there could also be limiting beliefs about yourself, which is often where these things underlying end up linking to. But it could also be a specific lesson, a specific thing that people keep repeating to you over and over again. Or like I said, the pattern with a relationship, really unsupportive relationships. It could also be situations with an ex, for example, an ex-partner. And maybe they are not the person that you had hoped they would be to your children or to you for example.

[0:03:24]
If that's the case and you see this happening over and over again and they're sending you these reminders and lessons over and over again, it's not specifically the lesson that is there to teach you something. That is one part of it. Because maybe you might say to yourself what am I not learning from this lesson? I still need to learn a lesson here. But that's not entirely it. You can learn what the lesson is because you see what is happening over and over again. So you've learned that this is their pattern. You've learned that this is what you have come to expect.

[0:03:55]
A lesson doesn't continue to repeat itself for you to learn from that situation. It returns over and over again until you heal what is behind it. That's what the lesson is trying to teach you. So stop focusing on the lesson itself and start digging into why it's showing up in the first place. Then work to heal what comes up. It's that right there that requires the digging work. Because that lesson will continue to show up in your life until you heal whatever is behind it. Whether it's a particular trigger that ticks you off all the time and whether it's a particular behaviour, it doesn't matter what it is, whether it's something, a pattern that you keep repeating yourself until you actually heal what is behind it and dig deep, it's not going to go away.

[0:04:43]
So in order to do that, I suggest a drum roll, please. Journaling. Because again, journaling is fascinating for digging into your own mind. So you get out your timer, you set your timer for 20 to 30 minutes and you just journal. Why do I keep seeing this lesson over again? Which situations? Label the situations or name the situations that it keeps happening in. Look at your history from when you were a child and see if there are other situations or other specific people who had a significant impact as to why this might be returning.

[0:05:21]
And that will show up often in relationships. If you had a relationship with someone as a child who actually had similar behaviours to the relationship you're experiencing now, it's going to repeat itself until you heal that past relationship. This doesn't mean becoming friends or anything with that person if you don't speak to them anymore. But it could mean healing it within you. It does actually not. It could. It does mean healing it within you.

[0:05:47]
And that's the same with anything else. If you see yourself repeating the same sort of pattern, the same sort of thing keeps highlighting, then there is something behind that. You need to dig deep and heal it. So journaling is my number one. Another thing would be maybe meditation comes up for you, maybe you want to give that a try to sit in silence or sit with some nice calming music to listen to your inner voice to find out what is there something else.

[0:06:16]
Read about it online. I mean, your particular lesson is not new, I can tell you right now. It has been done before. So read about it online. See if you can get some insights from there into helping you release yourself from whatever this lesson has to teach you, or whatever behind the lesson has to teach you what you need to heal yourself from. You can also hire a coach, or you can speak to a therapist.

[0:06:40]
You can do all sorts of things. There's a ton of information available to you. You can connect with certain support groups. For example, if you had a narcissistic parent and you follow through on continuing to have relationships with narcissistic people, there's something there to heal. There's a lot of stuff going on and there are a ton of groups out there to help support you. The whole point is now looking at that lesson and learning from it, it has so many layers, not just the outer visible layer of the lesson itself, the deeper meaning behind it.

[0:07:16]
I hope you enjoyed this show. I hope it supports you in some way. I hope it gives you a chance to just look at the patterns that you have been exposing yourself to as a person and seeing that they are not always healthy and that they are returning over and over again to teach you, to show you that there is a part of you that needs to be healed. If you enjoyed this show, please share it with other moms who are in need of more.

[0:07:38]
Reach out to me if you ever want support around coaching, just to chat about a particular situation in your life, I'm always here. You can connect with me on my website, kylievanglder.com, or on my Instagram. You can DM me there @kylievangelder, thank you so much for listening and have a wonderful day.